im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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