Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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