Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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