there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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