so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
