I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
A bitchslap is in order.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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