You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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