Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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