she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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