I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
