Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I lost the right to judge tonight
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
