walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
