pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
