I think im going to throw up on grandma
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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