Three words: puerto rican gang bang
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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