Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
