i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
