He had one of those small greek statue penises
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
