I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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