i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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