sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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