I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
