guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
