Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
