I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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