After last night, I could never be a politician.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
