SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
