So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize