if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
