everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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