I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
