cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize