she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
