saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
