dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
