So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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