i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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