i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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