you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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