You're earring is so big in my mouth
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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