So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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