i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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