No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize