she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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