So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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