Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
