Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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