carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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