this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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