dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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