is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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