Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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