PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize