u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize