I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
