i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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