we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
