so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
