Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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