He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
