I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
